Some days are harder than others. Yesterday I had a pretty terrible fatigue day. I spent the majority of the day asleep or just trying to stay calm & go back to sleep as I was unable to move my body. It’s truly frightening when your body is so fatigued that it feels like your very blood, your very cells have been weighed down & turned into cement. That’s what it feels like. Didn’t matter if I needed to eat or go to the bathroom, I could not move. In the past this would cause me a panic attack but now I understand what is going on better. Even though it’s still scary & very upsetting I just tell myself to go back to sleep until it passes. It also comes on pretty suddenly. I had a slow start to the morning yesterday but I was feeling pretty good. But then all of a sudden it was as if I was a ballon and all the air was being sucked out of me. I remember starting on my bedroom floor laying down thinking “this will past” & then waking up several hours later unable to move. Somehow – I honestly don’t remember how – I managed to get into my bed. My bed is a safe place that where I can find calm & comfort. I keep very soft blanket & a big teddy bear on it which were both gifts from parents back home, so when I do get sick or in pain & I’m alone I still feel supported. Now of course I’m never truly alone I have great friends in LA who would come over to help me in a heartbeat, my parents would fly out here if I really needed them … more of I’m alone in my apartment & these items give me the support I need to keep me from falling apart. Yesterday could have been a result of many different things which I need to be patient with & continue to listen to my body. But I’m thankful to say I’m doing better today. Feeling more of the sunshine in me. Cannabis helps so much, & NEEDS to be LEGALIZED EVERYWHERE. When fighting a chronic illness / pain / fatigue each day, each moment is a reminder to take it one breath at a time. That’s all we can do. And celebrate the days there is sunshine. For those days are truly special 🌻☀️💚 So much love to all my fellow warriors #onebreathatatime#fatigue #chronicillnessawareness ⁣

PC: @nolan.weisser ⁣
Wearing: @elshejewelry @freepeople

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