I’m not actively looking for my other half. I’m already whole ⥁ ❦

A question I get asked quite a bit “how or why are you single?” I think when people come across my page, pictures, or meeting me in person it comes as a shock that I’m not in a relationship. There is a lot to me being single. I didn’t date in high school or college. I was very much into pursuing my dreams as an artist, dancer & actress that I didn’t have much time for anything else. I also apparently gave guys the “don’t talk to me” look. Then when I moved to New York after college that’s when I got extremely sick. Since the age of 22 years old & 6 months until this last year I have been fighting for my health & my life. 10 surgeries to the day, multiple treatments & therapies to get me to where I am now. Dating was one of the last things on my mind when I was in extreme pain, lying on my bathroom floor, & sick out of your mind. I would get depressed & lonely, thinking “who would ever want to be with a sick a person?”. When I did start feeling a little better at the age of twenty-six I began dating this one guy, he was nice but had his problems like everyone else. I thought I was ready to date at that time with my health since I was feeling better but I didn’t feel much for him. Didn’t feel much if anything at all. Thought he was cute but when we kissed & touched I felt absolutely nothing. At that time I began questioning by sexuality along with questioning if I was just not a sexual person. I didn’t put into account that I had been placed in a chemically induced state of menopause with Lupron injections for the last 4 years to treat my endometriosis & multiple complications from ovarian cysts. So with my hormones shut off I had no sex drive at all. Wasn’t until a year later when my periods came back that my questionings of sexuality & if I was not a sexual person were thrown out the window. In the last two years I’ve been discovering who I am. I’ve tried online dating & meeting people but I’ve never felt a connection to someone where I wanted to place my time & energy into. I’m open to meeting someone, being with someone. I love the idea of having that best friend & lover. At the same time I’m not actively looking for my other half. I’m already whole. ⥁ ❦

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