I believe strength, self love & care comes in many forms. Strength is not putting on a brave face & smile on 24/7. Neither is self love & care. Great strength, love, & care comes from being true with your emotions. During the holidays there is much cheer but at the same time it can be a harder time of year for many. Being sad during the holidays doesn’t make you a Scrooge or Grinch. The holidays are always a harder time for me. My grief for my older sister heightens during this time of year. She died in a car accident over 17 years ago. I don’t talk about it very much since it’s hard for me to put into words what grief feels like. I often refer to this description I read in a play. It describes grief as a brick. First you are hit with the brick. Then you pick that brick up & place it your pocket to keep with you forever. The weight is very heavy at first but overtime it becomes part of your daily life where you may not always think about it but it’s always with you. Then there are the days you reach in your pocket to pull out your keys or wallet & instead you pull out the brick. Everything felt is felt again. Then you place the brick back into your pocket & continue on. That’s grief. Some people think you can let grief go, that brick go. “Think of all the happy moments”. But you grieve even when you think of the happy moments. That’s what happens when you lose someone you love so deeply. I used to would shut my emotions down but I realized that was doing harm to myself. I needed to cry. I needed to let it out. And then continue on with the present for there is no changing the past. Following the tears I feel lighter. The happier memories begin to flow more easily inside me now that some of that pain has been let out. There is a balance between getting trapped in your grief vs feeling it, accepting, & continuing on. Finding that balance is so important. Not always easy I know. Just know you aren’t a Scrooge or Grinch if you’re down during the holidays. Give yourself some extra love. Allow the tears flow, making more room inside you to feel the sunshine.
PC: Nolan Weisser